"Ghost characters." Grobians. They are on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
ANNIE
A "ghost character." One of Ursin's bears is Nan Stiles. Grobiana thinks the bear's name is probably Annie and Ursin has nicknamed her Nan.
APE
A "ghost character." Ursin has missed seeing the white bear baited as well as the sports with the ape and horse at the garden.
BAILIFFS, TWO
A "ghost character." Grobians. They are on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
BEAR, WHITE
A "ghost character." Ursin has missed seeing the white bear baited as well as the sports with the ape and horse at the garden. He names several other of his bears Rose, Nan Stiles and Tearthecoat, but whether one of them is the white bear does not appear.
COB
A "ghost character." Grobiana's favorite suitor, or so she says. He has a large, half-moon beard with crumbs that stick in it "like stars." At dinner with Grobiana and her father, he made a "pretty jest" of letting a tremendous fart, which they all laughed at.
COXCOMB–IN–A–CLOAK
Grobianus's cant term for a prologue, who makes legs to beg applause from Sir Tottipate (the audience) in "dogrime verse."
DEAWBEATER of HOUNDSDITCH
A "ghost character." A Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
DULMAN
A "ghost character." An apothecary and Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
EPIKURE, SIR
A "ghost character." The emptying of his jakes has been hindered by the calling of the annual Grobian feast.
EPILOGUE
Delivered by Grobianus. He tells the audience that he does not appear to beg for their applause but rather to tell them to go away now.
FUSTE, LADY
A "ghost character." A widow and Grobian. She is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
GENTLEMEN
A number of gentlemen are discussed without giving their names:
Pamphagus saw one mending his hose with blue points and invited him to the Grobian's feast.
Pamphagus saw another gentleman making water against a wall and saluted him for it.
Ungartred saw a gentleman who stared at Grobiana. He had bow legs, neat shoes tied with ribbons, and danced so she thought he must be a tailor. He sang of Jane Shore and Rosamond.
Ungartred tells of a gentleman that knocked at the door who had a good face, large nose, and odd smell about him. He carried a pole on his shoulders.
GOOSECAP, GOODMAN
A member of the audience. In his prologue, Grobianus insults this "gentleman in plush" and tells him to go and spend his six shillings eight pence on asparagus "for the thing in the bagge there, an let a wiser man take your place."
GRANDSIRE'S GRANDSIRE, GROBIANUS'S
A "ghost character." He got wind by eating a "craddock" at a football game and, ever since then, his posterity is troubled with pain in the crupper.
GROBIANA
She has no teeth and, by her own account, resembles a Lord mayor's pageant with men underneath her. She fancies Tantoblin at the feast, especially his aroma of the jakes. She catches him in her arms, and kisses him passionately. When Ursin tries to kiss her, she cries for Tantoblin, who knocks Ursin down with his staff. Grobiana is sickened and thrilled by his action and goes with Ungartred to have her head held until she can fart. She married Tantoblin.
GROBIANUS
He delivers the prologue. He is looking for a son-in-law like himself: a man who respects no manners, wears old fashioned clothes, employs a cook for necessity rather than riot, and who would rather doff his head than hat. He insults the fops in the audience and embraces those who are solid, unaffected human beings. He goes to the feast and is pleased when Grobiana likes Tantoblin. When the two go to be wed, he delivers the epilogue–not to ask for applause but to tell the audience to go away now.
GROUTHEAD
A "ghost character." A chaplain and Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
HORSE
A "ghost character." Ursin has missed seeing the white bear baited as well as the sports with the ape and horse at the garden.
HUNCH
A candidate to be a Grobian. Ursin does not like him since he farted amongst the bears after eating honey. The bears nearly bit off his buttocks.
JABERNOLE
A candidate to be a Grobian. He tells Hunch that they will both be admitted to Grobian Hall and not to fear.
JANE SHORE
Only mentioned. A rare beauty of yore whom Grobiana disdains.
LORRELL
A cook. He and Pamphagus are called to prepare the Grobian feast.
LOTIUM
A "ghost character." A physician and Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
MAYOR
A "ghost character." A Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
MULBERY
A "ghost character." An Innkeeper and Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
MULLET
A "ghost character." The fishmonger is in love with Grobiana and has been saving fish for her so long that they have begun to smell.
NAN STILES
A "ghost character." One of Ursin's bears along with the white bear, Rose, and Tearthecoat. Grobiana thinks the bear's name is probably Annie and Ursin has nicknamed her Nan.
OYESTUS
A crier. He is to cry out the Grobian feast to all the invitees: Slouch, Grouthead, Lady Fuste, Deawbeater, Lotium, Dulman, Mulbery, Old Thump, the mayor, aldermen, town clerk, and bailiffs. He also is to read the orders of the Grobians throughout the town. He invites Grobiana and Ungartred to the feast. When Ungartred wants to go to bed with him, he says he'd like to, but he is married.
PAMPHAGUS
A cook. He and Lorrell are called to prepare the Grobian feast. He reads out the orders of the Grobians, which include playing Bambery hot cockles at every festival. Also, apprentices are to leave their business and go into the streets to play football or if they hear bagpipes (which means the bears are coming). Under penalty of law, they must not neglect to throw snowballs, turds, and snot upon any occasion, and farting is encouraged at all times in all companies except the Irish, who are the best Grobians in the world. Oyestus is to read these items throughout the town. At play's end, he swears the Grobians never to buy suits but in Long Lane, never to wear stockings unless ruffled like a pigeon, or gloves unless greasy, nor shoes unless dungy, never to eat beef that isn't crawling, or meat that doesn't stink, and always to grease their lips with butter.
PLOYDEN
A "ghost character." A Grobian who, upon being invited to the feast (and knowing his new cloak would never be welcomed there), wallowed in a hog sty with pigs for half an hour to make his new suit and cloak acceptable.
PROLOGUE
Grobianus delivers the prologue while dismissing prologues as Coxcombs in cloaks who make legs to be applause from Sir Tottipate (the audience) in "dogrime verse."
PURITAN
A "ghost character." Grobiana once worked for a Puritan but was dismissed when she blew her nose during grace.
ROSAMOND
Only mentioned. A rare beauty of yore whom Grobiana disdains.
ROSE
A "ghost character." One of Ursin's bears along with the white bear, Nan Stiles and Tearthecoat.
SIMON SLOUCH, SIR
A "ghost character." A knight and Grobian. Pamphagus tells of how Simon Slouch passed an oyster through his nose whilst laughing, and his neighbor ate it. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
TANTOBLIN
Warden of the Grobian company. Being called to the Grobian feast has hindered him in his business of emptying Sir Epikure's jakes. He is deeply impressed by Grobiana's going to the toilet and falls in love with her. When Ursin tries to kiss Grobiana, she calls for Tantoblin, who knocks him down with his staff. He admits the act to Vanslotten and Ursin is made to forgive him. He goes then to wed Grobiana.
TEARTHECOAT
A "ghost character." One of Ursin's bears along with the white bear, Rose, and Nan Stiles.
THUMP, OLD
A "ghost character." A lawyer and Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
TIMON
Only mentioned. Grobianus likens himself to Timon, who hated men for their foolish courtesies.
TOTTIPATE, SIR
Grobianus's cant term for audience members who applaud doggerel rhymes.
TOWN CLARK
A "ghost character." A Grobian. He is on the list of invitees Oyestus is sent to cry into the Grobian feast.
UNGARTRED
She advises Grobiana to eat several cloves of garlic while fasting to mend her breath. She has not dressed her hair in a month, and the lice playing about her scabs tell her that Grobiana is in love. When Ungartred wants to go to bed with Oyestus, he says he'd like to, but he is married.
URSIN
A Bear-heard and Grobian. He's missed the day's baiting at the garden as he's been called to the feast. At the feast, he likes the looks of Grobiana and hopes his smell of bear pleases her. He interrupts Grobiana's wooing of Tantoblin in order to woo her for himself. When he tries to kiss her, she calls for Tantoblin, who knocks him down with his staff. Ursin cries murder. He takes Tantoblin before Vanslotten, who says that, as Tantoblin admitted doing the deed, Ursin should be satisfied. Ursin is satisfied and goes to see Tantoblin wed to Grobiana.
URSULA
A "ghost character." Likely Ursin's daughter, whom he calls his cub. If Mr. Ployden has a mind to marry a pig, Ursula will bear her company.
VANSLOTTEN
A Grobian. He is inconvenienced by the call to the Grobian feast and cannot make his candles. He acts as judge after Tantoblin hits Ursin with his staff. He says that, as Tantoblin admitted to doing it, Ursin should be satisfied and go happily to the wedding.
WIFE, OYESTUS'S
A "ghost character." She keeps preserved "a turd, new laid" to be used as a sort of smelling salt.