A NEW WONDER, A WOMAN NEVER VEXED
(Based on the lost Admiral's play of 15 [16] October 1595, THE WONDER OF A WOMAN?)
1624–1626
a synoptic, alphabetical character list
ARUNDEL
A lord attending on the King during his visit to Spitalfields.
BOWLERS
The Bowlers make a lot of noise under the stage in the 'gaming scene', and Host Boxall is obliged to silence them. When Stephen, Robert and the Host are fighting the gamesters, the Bowlers sneak in and steal their cloaks.
BRUYNE
Bruyne (pronounced 'Bruin') is a rich but virtuous London merchant. He tries to persuade Old Foster to be charitable to the prodigal Stephen Foster. Two gentlemen pursue his daughter, Jane's hand, but when they turn out to be impoverished, Bruyne is happy for her to marry the diligent merchant Robert Foster. Bruyne's honest trading pays off when he becomes an Alderman, and he uses his money charitably, by building a Domus Dei in Spitalfields.
CARDINAL
Non-speaking role. Attends on the King during his visit to Spitalfields.
CLOWN
The Clown is the Widow's servant. Although his name is given as Roger, the Quarto labels him 'Clown' throughout. He loves his mistress, and when the Widow decides to marry the impoverished prodigal Stephen Foster, the Clown is offended because he considers himself a worthier choice. He contributes little to the plot apart from finding the Widow's wedding ring in the belly of a fish.
DICK
A gamester. When Stephen claims that there has been cheating in a game of dice, Dick and the other gamesters attack him, but they are beaten off by Robert and the Host. During the fight, the Bowlers sneak in and steal Stephen, Robert and the Host's cloaks.
DOCTOR
A Doctor of Divinity to whom the Widow explains her inability to be vexed. Later, he marries her to Stephen.
GEORGE
Bruyne's factor, who calculates the value of his goods.
HENRY III
The King visits Spitalfields to see the Domus Dei that Bruyne has erected. Robert complains to him of his ill treatment at the hands of Old Foster and Stephen.
HOST BOXALL
Boxall is the landlord of the gaming den where Stephen Foster spends his money. He and Robert rescue Stephen when the gamesters attack him. During the fight, the Bowlers sneak in and steal Stephen, Robert and the Host's cloaks.
HUGH
A gamester. When Stephen claims that there has been cheating in a game of dice, Hugh and the other gamesters attack him, but they are beaten off by Robert and the Host. During the fight, the Bowlers sneak in and steal Stephen, Robert and the Host's cloaks.
JACK
A gamester. When Stephen claims that there has been cheating in a game of dice, Jack and the other gamesters attack him, but they are beaten off by Robert and the Host. During the fight, the Bowlers sneak in and steal Stephen, Robert and the Host's cloaks.
JANE
Jane is the daughter of Bruyne, a rich merchant. She is pursued by two gentlemen, Speedwell and Lambskin, who wish to marry her. But they are only interested in her money. When her father realises this, he allows her to marry the virtuous citizen Robert Foster.
JOAN
A servant of the Widow. Joan brings in the fish in whose stomach has been found the Widow's wedding ring.
KEEPER OF LUDGATE
Keeper of the prison where Old Foster is incarcerated.
LAMBSKIN
Master Innocent Lambskin is a young gentleman who, like Speedwell, hopes to marry the wealthy Jane Bruyne. He is the son of a starch-maker who made his fortune with a brewery, but Lambskin is now in debt to the Widow. He is outraged when Jane rejects him in favour of the citizen Robert Foster, and Lambskin is then humiliated when Stephen forces him to repay some of his debts.
LORD MAYOR
Non-speaking role. Accompanies the King on his visit to Spitalfields.
MISTRESS FOSTER
Old Foster's shrewish wife is a former widow whom Old Foster married for her wealth. She is a friend of the eponymous Widow, who is never vexed. Mistress Foster is angered by Stephen Foster's prodigality and encourages Old Foster to disown Robert for helping him. She learns the error of her ways when Robert virtuously rescues Old Foster from Ludgate prison.
MOUNTFORD
A Lord attending the King.
OLD FOSTER
Old Foster is an avaricious London merchant who hopes to be elevated to the gentry on making his fortune. He disowns his prodigal brother Stephen, and then disowns his son Robert for helping him. But Old Foster's ships sink, and he ends up in the debtor's prison at Ludgate, forced to beg at the grate. Old Foster repents of his meanness when Robert virtuously finds £200 to help him. Stephen sneers at Old Foster's plight, but he is only pretending, and in the final scene, the Foster family is reconciled before the King.
PEMBROKE
Non-speaking role. A lord attending on the King during his visit to Spitalfields.
RICHARD
Old Foster's factor, who is trapped between loyalty to Old Foster and to Robert in their argument over whether to bail out Stephen from prison.
ROBERT FOSTER
Robert is the charitable and virtuous son of Old Foster, and nephew of Stephen Foster. He is in love with Jane, daughter of Bruyne, who approves the match. Robert angers his father by bailing out Stephen from prison, and then rescues Stephen when he is attacked in a gaming-den. Old Foster disowns him. When Stephen reforms and marries the Widow, he takes Robert on as his heir and factor. Old Foster then loses his ships and is imprisoned in Ludgate. Robert steals £200 from Stephen to help his father, who repents of his meanness. When Stephen finds out, he angrily disowns Robert. Robert complains to the King, but Stephen is only pretending to be angry, and in the final scene, the Foster family is reconciled. Robert marries Jane.
ROGER
The name of the Clown; not used in the speech prefixes of the Quarto.
SPEEDWELL
Sir Godfrey Speedwell is an elderly knight, who is a suitor of Jane. He is a former rake who is only after Jane's money. He is outraged when Jane rejects him in favour of the citizen Robert Foster, and he is then humiliated when Stephen forces him to repay his debts.
STEPHEN FOSTER
Stephen is the prodigal brother of Old Foster and uncle to Stephen. He continually promises to reform, and his nephew Robert continually bails him out. The Widow then marries him because she wants a man who can vex her. But Stephen miraculously repents of his prodigality and helps the Widow to chase her creditors. When Old Foster disowns Robert, Stephen takes him on as his heir and factor. He forces Speedwell and Lambskin to pay some of their debts to the Widow. He is elected Sheriff of London. When Old Foster ends up in Ludgate prison, Robert steals £200 from Stephen to help his father. When Stephen finds out, he disowns Robert. Robert complains to the King, but Stephen was only pretending to be angry, and in the final scene the Foster family is reconciled.
WIDOW
The Widow is the eponymous 'woman never vexed'. She is frustrated by the fact that nothing ever vexes her and marries the prodigal Stephen Foster in the hope that he will be vexatious. But Stephen miraculously repents of his prodigality as soon as they are married. Even when Stephen cruelly disowns Robert Foster, the Widow remains unvexed because she can tell he's only pretending.
WIFE
The Quarto uses this speech prefix for the Widow once she has married Stephen.