One of the jeerers (idle hecklers). Shunfield, Piedmantle, Madrigal, Fitton, Cymbal, and Almanac hound Pennyboy Senior, mocking him, and also a suitor to Pecunia, Infanta of the Mines. An astrologer/physician, he is exposed as a mere "canter" or jargonist by Pennyboy Canter.
AMBLER
A "ghost character." The emissary or reporter to the Staple of News for St. Paul's.
AURELIA CLARA PECUNIA
The Infanta (heiress) of the mythical "Mines," i.e., the source of all money. Her name translates to "golden bright money." More a symbol than a real person, she represents investment capital. Her attendants are named, symbolically, Mortgage, Band, Statute, and Wax, and all are depicted as little better than bawds. As a character, she is the ward of Pennyboy Senior, who has promised her to Pennyboy Junior but desires her for himself. Simultaneously dignified and flirtatious, aloof and accessible, she reluctantly goes along with Pennyboy Junior's directions to kiss and compliment the jeerers (idle hecklers) who are courting her to invest in their various schemes. Given to the protection, in turn, of Pennyboy Senior, Pennyboy Junior, and Pennyboy Canter, she is nearly claimed by Picklock before being restored to Pennyboy Senior "[t]o use her like a friend, not like a slave/Or like an idol." He in turn gives her back to Pennyboy Junior. She promises, in an epilogue, to "teach them all/The golden mean."
BAND
Pecunia's first waiting-woman. Her name means bond, so she functions symbolically as a financial contract for Pecunia's capital.
BLOCK
One of Pennyboy Senior's dogs, put on mock-trial by his insane master for making messes.
BROKER
Pecunia's secretary and Gentleman-usher. He agrees to help Picklock secure Pecunia for himself, rather than for Pennyboy Junior, thereby fulfilling his symbolic function of bringing investors to capital schemes. Thematically, he is equated to a pimp.
CUSTOMER, FIRST, SECOND, THIRD, FOURTH and FIFTH
Customers at the Staple of News who seek news. The Second Customer requests news of wonders from the Indies, Japan, or China while the Fourth Customer asks for news of court masques and civic pageants and the Fifth requests news of the forest.
CYMBAL
One of the jeerers (idle hecklers). Shunfield, Piedmantle, Madrigal, Fitton, Cymbal, and Almanac hound Pennyboy Senior, mocking him, and also a suitor to Pecunia, Infanta of the Mines. He is the "Master" or publisher of the Staple of News. He tries to get Pennyboy Senior to invest Pecunia's money in the Staple of News, but is refused. The Staple then fails for want of funds.
DOPPER
A Dutch Anabaptist woman. A customer at the Staple of News who requests news of the activities of Protestant sects in Amsterdam.
FASHIONER
The tailor providing Pennyboy Junior with his first set of clothes as an heir. He brings Pennyboy Junior word that the Staple of News has opened.
FITTON
One of the jeerers (idle hecklers). Shunfield, Piedmantle, Madrigal, Fitton, Cymbal, and Almanac hound Pennyboy Senior, mocking him, and also a suitor to Pecunia, Infanta of the Mines. He is the "Emissary Court" or royal court reporter for the Staple of News. He is exposed as a mere "canter" or jargonist by Pennyboy Canter.
FOUNDER
The name that Pennyboy Junior calls, unawares, his disguised father, Pennyboy Canter.
GOSSIP CENSURE
A wealthy citizen-wife who has come to attend The Staple of News. She and her gossips sit on the stage and reveal their ignorance as to the conventions and standards of stage comedy. She expresses continuing dissatisfaction with the play.
GOSSIP EXPECTATION
A wealthy citizen-wife who has come to attend The Staple of News. She and her gossips sit on the stage and reveal their ignorance as to the conventions and standards of stage comedy. She comes to the play with foregone and uninformed conclusions.
GOSSIP MIRTH
A wealthy citizen-wife who has come to attend The Staple of News. She and her gossips sit on the stage and reveal their ignorance as to the conventions and standards of stage comedy. Symbolically, she is "the Daughter of Christmas" and represents festivity; she is the most sympathetic of the spectators.
GOSSIP TATTLE
A wealthy citizen-wife who has come to attend The Staple of News. She and her gossips sit on the stage and reveal their ignorance as to the conventions and standards of stage comedy. She compares everything in the play to what she has heard from other gossips.
HABERDASHER
The hat maker providing Pennyboy Junior with his first hats as an heir.
HANS BUZ
A "ghost character." The emissary or reporter to the Staple of News for the Royal Exchange.
LEATHERLEG
The cobbler providing Pennyboy Junior with his first boots as an heir.
LICKFINGER
A cook. He is employed by Pennyboy Junior to cook a dinner honoring Pecunia. He becomes instrumental when he is given the deed to Pennyboy Senior's estate by Picklock. Unknowingly, he gives it to a courier who is actually Pennyboy Junior, thereby foiling Picklock's scheme.
LINENER
The shirt maker providing Pennyboy Junior with his first set of shirts as an heir.
LOLLARD
One of Pennyboy Senior's dogs, put on mock-trial by his insane master for making messes.
MADRIGAL
One of the jeerers (idle hecklers). Shunfield, Piedmantle, Madrigal, Fitton, Cymbal, and Almanac hound Pennyboy Senior, mocking him, and also a suitor to Pecunia, Infanta of the Mines. An incompetent poet, he is exposed as a mere "canter" or jargonist by Pennyboy Canter.
MORTGAGE
Pecunia's nurse or duenna. Symbolically, one form of financial contract, therefore one who allows access to money.
NATHANIEL
First Clerk of the Staple of News office. His name, frequently paired with references to butter, alludes to Nathaniel Butter, the real-life publisher of the first newsbooks in 1622.
NICHOLAS
A boy singer who performs Madrigal's ode to Pecunia in the Tavern.
PENNYBOY CANTER
The father of Pennyboy Junior. He has faked his death in order to observe his prodigal son's behavior and to protect him from his grasping uncle, Pennyboy Senior. He is disguised as a "canting beggar," an indigent who speaks the underworld "cant" or slang. He observes how Pennyboy Junior allows the jeerers (Cymbal, Fitton, Almanac, Shunfield, and Madrigal, idle hecklers all) to exploit and mock him and Pecunia, and, in frequent asides, comments on the jeerers' folly and rank materialism. When the jeerers turn on him, mocking his solemnity, he in turn demolishes each of them in satirical rants, proving that their wit is really nothing but "cant," or jargon. When Pennyboy Junior is so amused by this exchange that he proposes using Pecunia's and his money to endow a "Canter's College" and to hire all the jeerers, he reveals himself to the company and angrily disinherits his son, taking Pecunia back as well. Upon learning that Pennyboy Junior has foiled Picklock's plan to cheat him, however, he reconciles with him. Together, they restore Pecunia and the estate to Pennyboy Senior and reconcile with him.
PENNYBOY JUNIOR
A young dandy. He has just come into his inheritance at the beginning of the play. Cheerfully spendthrift, he trusts his shady lawyer, Picklock, and his miserly uncle, Pennyboy Senior, to affect a marriage between himself and Pecunia, the Infanta of the Mines. He has befriended an old singing beggar whom he calls "Founder," but who is actually his father, Pennyboy Canter, in disguise. He is thrilled to hear from his tailor that the new "Staple of News" (a gossip sheet) has just opened, and he purchases a position as reporter for his barber, Thomas Barber. While being introduced to Pecunia, he meets a crowd of jeerers (Cymbal, Fitton, Almanac, Shunfield, and Madrigal, idle hecklers all) and admires the way they insult the surly Pennyboy Senior. He hires Lickfinger the cook, to create a sumptuous dinner in a Tavern in honor of Pecunia; this is a plan hatched by Picklock to get her away from Pennyboy Senior. There he allows the jeerers to mock his "Founder" and to make suggestive comments to Pecunia. Pennyboy Canter retaliates with elaborate satires on the jeerers, which so amuse Pennyboy Junior that he proposes using Pecunia's and his money to endow a "Canter's College" and to hire all the jeerers. Incensed, his father reveals himself and disinherits Pennyboy Junior. In the final act, a repentant Pennyboy Junior happens upon his protégé, Thomas Barber, who tells him that his father and the lawyer, Picklock, are suing each other for possession of the estate, and the deed is being delivered by Lickfinger, Pennyboy Junior's cook, in a "black box." Armed with this information, Pennyboy Junior runs to intercept the box, and returning, receives Picklock's promise to help him recover his money skeptically (he has also placed Thomas Barber to overhear this conversation). He is, of course, unsurprised when Picklock betrays him and tries to convince Pennyboy Canter to turn over the estate to him instead. However, when it is discovered that Pennyboy Junior has the deed safe, and when Thomas Barber corroborates Picklock's duplicity, Picklock storms off and Pennyboy Senior reconciles with his son. They then visit Pennyboy Senior (temporarily insane over the loss of Pecunia) and restore Pecunia and his estate to him. Pennyboy Senior in turn bestows his estate and Pecunia on Pennyboy Junior, and all are reconciled.
PENNYBOY SENIOR
A miser and a misanthrope. He has concocted a scheme to marry his nephew, Pennyboy Junior, to Pecunia, Infanta of the Mines, whom he controls, in order to get his inheritance, but then decides to marry her himself. However, his house is overrun by jeerers (Cymbal, Fitton, Almanac, Shunfield, and Madrigal, idle hecklers all), and they spirit Pecunia away to a tavern for a dinner. Pennyboy Junior's lawyer, Picklock, succeeds in contracting Pecunia to Pennyboy Junior and Pennyboy Senior runs mad. In the final scene, he has made himself the judge of a mock court and is trying his two dogs, Block and Lollard, for urinating on Pecunia's dress and other doggy offenses, while the jeerers watch and heckle. He is rescued by Pennyboy Canter and Junior, who restore Pecunia (and therefore his sanity) to him. Grateful, he gives Pecunia to Pennyboy Junior, and is reconciled with his brother.
PICKLOCK
Pennyboy Junior's lawyer and self-serving con artist. He is the "Emissary Westminster" or court-of-law reporter for the Staple of News. He pretends to be working for Pennyboy Junior, but actually plans to secure Pecunia's hand for himself. He also tricks Pennyboy Senior into thinking he will secure Pecunia for him, while encouraging Pennyboy Junior in the plan to invite Pecunia to a tavern and out of Pennyboy Senior's influence. At the same time, he informs the jeerers of the dinner and invites them to attend and try to lure Pecunia away from Penny boy Junior. After Pennyboy Senior has gone mad, Picklock gleefully joins the jeerers in their wit-contest with Pennyboy Canter. After Pennyboy Canter reveals himself, Picklock attempts to sue him, claiming that the estate had been deeded to him for safekeeping. However, the box containing the deed is intercepted by Pennyboy Junior, who restores the estate to his father, and Picklock exits to Pennyboy Canter's promise to have him jailed.
PIEDMANTLE
One of the jeerers (idle hecklers). Shunfield, Piedmantle, Madrigal, Fitton, Cymbal, and Almanac hound Pennyboy Senior, mocking him, and also a suitor to Pecunia, Infanta of the Mines. A herald in training, he is exposed as a mere "canter" or jargonist by Pennyboy Canter.
POCAHONTAS
A "ghost character." The historical Indian princess is invoked by Pennyboy Junior as a precedent for a high-born lady to hold court in a tavern. Later, Gossip Tattle insists that Pecunia is a satire on the real-life Pocahontas. In his memoirs, Ben Jonson claimed to have met her in London.
PROLOGUE
A boy actor. He introduces the play and becomes involved in a debate with the citizen ladies Mirth, Tattle, Censure, and Expectation. He tries to instruct the women in the finer points of theater-going and begs them not to criticize the play before they have seen, and more importantly, understood it.
REGISTER of the STAPLE
The editor of the Staple of News.
ROSE WAX
Pecunia's chambermaid. Her name refers the red wax seals used to legalize contracts.
SIR BEVIS BULLION
A "ghost character." Pennyboy Canter claims to have been "bred" in his mines; this is probably a pseudonym for Sir Bevis Bulmer, a famous mining engineer.
SHUNFIELD
One of the jeerers. Shunfield, Piedmantle, Madrigal, Fitton, Cymbal, and Almanac hound Pennyboy Senior, mocking him, and also a suitor to Pecunia, Infanta of the Mines. A naval officer in charge of the muster-roll, he is exposed as a mere "canter" or jargonist by Pennyboy Canter.
SPURRIER
The spur-maker providing Pennyboy Junior with his first set of spurs as an heir.
STATUTE
Pecunia's first waiting-woman, she functions symbolically as an element of financial contracts for Pecunia's capital.
POET
A "ghost character." Ben Jonson, author of The Staple of News, referred to by the Prologue as pacing anxiously backstage, sweating profusely with anxiety over the reception of his play.
THOMAS BARBER
Barber and gossip-gatherer to Pennyboy Junior, who buys him a position as a clerk in the Staple of News office. He brings the news of the Staple's demise and of Picklock's lawsuit to Pennyboy Junior and witnesses, from a hidden vantage, Picklock's proposal to Pennyboy Junior to retake Pecunia from Pennyboy Canter. His testimony helps to expose Picklock.