A companion of Shrewd Wit, False Falsehood helps him pass the time by stealing purses from thieves and whores.
GOOD REMEDY
Good Remedy is the sworn protector of Health, Wealth, and Liberty. A force of righteousness in service of his sovereign (ambigiously Queen Elizabeth I or God), he is feared by Shrewd Wit and Ill-Will. He advises Health, Wealth, and Liberty to avoid "ill" and "shrewd" company; nonetheless, he must leap to their defense when the trio succumbs to the villains' plot to remove their influence from England. Good Remedy tells Shrewd Wit and Ill-Will that he is not fooled by their disguises as Wit and Will, and he promises to expose them publicly. When the villains have beaten Health, jailed Liberty, and possibly also jailed Wealth, Good Remedy arranges for the release of Wealth and Liberty and sends Shrewd Wit and Ill-Will to prison instead. He promises to restore Wealth, Health, and Liberty to their former states, if Wealth will stay in England, if Health will be of good cheer, and if Liberty will make an effort to be inoffensive. He ends the play by praising Queen Elizabeth and the Lords of the Council.
HANCE BEERPOT
Hance Beerpot is a drunken Fleming, and is the sometime companion of Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit. He also goes by the name of War. He asks Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit for a place to stay in England; they direct him to go to court and ask for Wealth. During Wealth's disappearance, he tells Good Remedy that he has taken Wealth to Flanders and away from England.
HEALTH
Health is a friend of Wealth and Liberty. He agrees to stay in England with Wealth, although he maintains that he is superior to Wealth because without Health, a man is in pain no matter how wealthy he is, but with Health, he can earn a living through labour. Upon meeting Ill-Will, who is disguised as Will, he repudiates him; however, he agrees after some argument to admit Will and Shrewd Wit, disguised as Wit, into his service. After Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit beat him, he begs Good Remedy to heal him, and asks for help in rescuing Wealth and Liberty. Health reports that Wealth has fallen into decay through association with War, and that Liberty is being held in prison. After Good Remedy intervenes to release Wealth and Liberty and imprison Shrewd Wit and Ill-Will, Health promises to mend his ways and to pray for the preservation of Good Remedy.
ILL-WILL
Ill-Will is the companion of Shrewd Wit. In his disguise as Will, he gulls Health, Wealth and Liberty into accepting his pledge of service. He introduces Shrewd Wit, disguised as Wit, to the trio as his brother. Despite his constant errors in betraying his true, wicked purposes aloud in front of the trio, and his frequent oaths "by God's mother" which reveal his crypto-Catholicism, Ill-Will manages to beat and belittle Wealth, Health, and Liberty. After the intervention of Good Remedy, however, Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit are sent to prison for their crimes.
JOHN IRISCHE
Along with John Sholar, John Irische is one of three men who Shrewd Wit and Ill-Will claim will bear witness for them when they are finally caught and confronted by Good Remedy.
JOHN SHOLAR
Along with John Irische, John Sholar is one of three men who Shrewd Wit and Ill-Will claim will bear witness for them when they are finally caught and confronted by Good Remedy.
LIBERTY
Liberty is a friend of Wealth and Health. He claims that he is better than Wealth and Health because without Liberty, Wealth and Health amount to nothing. Liberty appears to cause the entrance of Ill-Will by claiming to be ready to act at the will of Health and Wealth. He encourages Health and Wealth to accept Ill-Will, disguised as Will, as their servant. When Will and Wit (a.k.a. Shrewd Wit) threaten to leave, Liberty promises to follow them. Due to the machinations of Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit, Liberty is imprisoned, possibly along with Wealth. Good Remedy intervenes to send Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit to prison, and arrange for the release of Liberty and Wealth.
SHREWD WIT
Shrewd Wit is the ne'er-do-well companion of Ill-Will. He disguises himself as Wit in order to help Ill-Will take advantage of Wealth. Despite his tendency to announce his intentions to gull Health, Wealth, and Liberty while they are listening, he manages to be admitted into their service. His frequent oaths "by the mass" reveal his crypto-Catholic identity. He plots to make Wealth, Health, and Liberty universally despised, and he slanders Good Remedy to the trio. After beating Health and imprisoning Wealth and Liberty, Shrewd Wit and Ill-Will are sent to prison by Good Remedy.
WAR
War is an alternative name for Hance Beerpot, the drunken Fleming.
WEALTH
Wealth is the companion of Health and Liberty. His full name is "Wealth of this realm." He claims he is always with the Queen and her council, and is superior to Health, but agrees to work together with Health to assure England's wellbeing. He welcomes Liberty into friendship with him and Health. Wealth succumbs, with Health and Liberty, to the manipulations of Shrewd Wit (disguised as Wit) and Ill-Will (disguised as Will). While the actual location of Wealth after the downfall of the trio is uncertain, Hance Beerpot (a.k.a. War) claims that he has taken Wealth to Flanders when Good Remedy interrogates him. It seems most likely, however, that Wealth is imprisoned with Liberty, since the two are retrieved together when Good Remedy releases Liberty and sends Ill-Will and Shrewd Wit to prison.
WILL
Will is the name taken by Ill-Will when he plots to dupe Health, Wealth, and Liberty.
WIT
Wit is the name taken by Shrewd Wit when he schemes to dupe Health, Wealth, and Liberty.