The Greek god of the arts. Apollo walks across the stage with the other gods in the opening dumbshow.
ARBACES
A "ghost character." A general of Persia, under whom Sateros fought at Marathon.
BACCHUS
The "belly-God" (according to Mercury); he walks across the stage with the other gods in the opening dumbshow.
CERES
The Greek goddess of fertility. Mercury explains the opening dumbshow to her. As she exits, she "casts comfits" to the audience.
CHARON
Charon is the ferryman of Styx, whom Raph meets on his journey. Charon is exasperated and overworked because so many people are traveling to Hell these days.
CLIO
Clio is the Muse of History. She is idle because nothing memorable can happen during peacetime.
CONTEMPT
Contempt is an allegorical figure who goes by the name of 'Content' and tries to encourage the people of Boetia to live lives of idle luxury. He introduces Sateros to his converts: the Scholar, the Country Gentleman, and Emnius the Courtier. Contempt tells Sateros that if he wants promotion, he must honor him, but Sateros refuses. Contempt is also having an affair with Venus under the nose of Mars; he dances with her while Mars sleeps. Venus leaves Mars, but when Contempt has had his wicked way, he spurns her. In the end, war breaks out, and Contempt is driven from Boetia.
CONTENT
The alias used by Contempt.
CODRUS
A wretched man who wants to travel to Hell because he thinks it will be less tormenting than life on earth. Charon tells him there is no room in Hell, and he will have to wait until it has been enlarged.
COUNTRY GENTLEMAN
The Country Gentleman is one of Contempt's acolytes. He defends the role of the country gentry in a debate with the Scholar, Emnius and Sateros. Later, when war breaks out, the Country Gentleman is expected to lead a troop of soldiers. He begs Sateros to save him from being forced to fight, but Sateros tells him to do his duty.
CYNTHIA
An alternative name for the goddess Diana.
DALLIANCE
Dalliance is an allegorical figure residing in the court of Venus; he or she plays music with Folly, Niceness, Newfangle and Jealousy while Venus sings a lullaby to Mars.
DAUGHTER, DUKE'S
A non-speaking role. Emnius plots to marry the Duke's Daughter, but his plan is foiled. She appears alongside her father during the Priest's prayer.
DIANA
Diana is the goddess of chastity. She brings up the rear of the pageant of gods in the opening dumbshow, "wringing her hands" and making a "woeful moan."
DUKE of BOETIA
The Duke of Boetia is represented as virtuous, despite the idleness and indolence that stalks his land during peacetime. When Sateros asks for preferment, the Duke sympathizes but is unable to employ him in a time of peace. Raph's prophecy saves the Duke from Emnius's treachery. The Duke forces Emnius to confess his plots, but then foolishly forgives him. When Zelotas kills Emnius, the Duke sends her and Raph to prison for murder. War then breaks out with the Argives and Thessalonians, and the Duke finds employment for Sateros. The Duke is present when the Priest prays to the gods; when the war is won, he rejoices, and pardons Raph and Zelota.
ECHO
When Raph meets the Muses, he mistakes an echo for a person calling to him, and runs off to find him. An actor offstage presumably performs the echo.
EMNIUS
Emnius is a nasty courtier who is obedient to Contempt. He defends the role of the courtier in a debate with Sateros, the Scholar and the Country Gentleman, but Raph's interjections make him look foolish. Emnius plots to marry the Duke's Daughter and supplant the Duke. Thanks to Raph's prophecy, he is discovered. The Duke forces him to confess, and then forgives him. The ungrateful Emnius responds by plotting to kill Raph and the Duke. He attacks Raph with a knife, but just in time the mad Zelota runs on and stabs him to death.
FOLLY
An allegorical figure residing in the court of Venus. Folly plays the fife, while Venus sings a lullaby to Mars accompanied by Niceness, Newfangle, Dalliance and Jealousy. It is Folly who informs Mars that Venus has run away with Contempt.
GHOST of a GREY FRIAR
The Ghost of a Grey Friar calls offstage for Charon's boat.
GREAT VOICE
A great man with a great voice calls offstage for Charon's boat.
HERALD of MARS
Now that his master resides at the court of Venus, the Herald of Mars is reduced to devising coats of arms to distinguish gentlemen from knaves. He shows Raph and Sateros the way to the court of Venus.
INA
Ina is a waiting-maid of Venus. With Ru, she looks after Ruina, the bastard child of Venus and Contempt.
INGRATITUDE
A "ghost character." An allegorical figure named as "godfather and grandfather" of Ruina.
JEALOUSY
Jealousy is an allegorical figure residing in the court of Venus who plays music with Folly, Niceness, Newfangle and Dalliance, while Venus sings a lullaby to Mars.
JUNO
Juno is the Queen of the Gods. With Jupiter, she leads the parade of gods in the opening dumbshow.
JUPITER
Jupiter is the King of the Gods. With Juno, he leads the parade of gods in the opening dumbshow.
OLYGOROS
According to the Scholar, the real name of Content is Olygoros, the Greek word for Contempt.
MAIA
A "ghost character." The mother of Mercury.
MARS
Mars is the god of war. He is in love with Venus, and spends his time dallying with her and wearing fashionable garments instead of engaging in more manly pursuits. Mercury sends Raph Cobbler to give Mars a 'prophecy.' Raph arrives before Mars accompanied by Sateros the soldier, who seeks preferment. Mars will not grant Sateros's petition, and is alarmed by Raph's prophecy, which predicts that he will be cuckolded. Venus calms Mars's fears, and lulls him to sleep. Mars becomes suspicious when he wakes and finds Venus gone; Folly informs him that she has run away with Contempt. Mars spurns women and embraces war once more, and puts on the garb of a soldier to be revenged. A war ensues, and Contempt is routed. In the final scene, Mars, Sateros and Mercury enter together.
MELPOMENE
Melpomene is the Muse of Tragedy. She is idle because there are no longer any wars in Boetia, and thus no tragedies.
MERCURY
Mercury is the messenger of the gods. He has a prophecy to deliver to Mars, and decides to make a messenger out of the first person he meets. That person is the henpecked shoemaker, Raph Cobbler. Mercury punishes Raph's wife, Zelota, by sending her mad. He then charms Raph to sleep and teaches him the prophecy. Later in the play, Mercury reports the decree of the godly synod that Venus should no longer be a goddess, and that Greece is at war with Contempt. He also tells Mars about Ruina the baby. He enters with Mars and Sateros in the final scene.
MESSENGER
The Messenger warns the Duke of the invading army, and later announces the victory of Sateros.
NEWFANGLE
Newfangle is an allegorical figure residing in the court of Venus. Mars overhears a dialogue between Niceness and Newfangle in the garden. Newfangle plays music with Folly, Niceness, Jealousy and Dalliance, while Venus sings a lullaby to Mars.
NICENESS
Niceness is an allegorical figure residing in the court of Venus. Mars overhears a dialogue between Niceness and Newfangle in the garden. Niceness plays music with Folly, Newfangle, Jealousy and Dalliance, while Venus sings a lullaby to Mars.
PIERS
A "ghost character." Piers and Plain are the poor tenants of the Country Gentleman; Sateros says the Country Gentleman steals their bread and cheese.
PLAIN
A "ghost character." Piers and Plain are the poor tenants of the Country Gentleman; Sateros says the Country Gentleman steals their bread and cheese.
PORTER of MARS
Now that his master resides at the court of Venus, the Porter of Mars has rusty armor and a broken bill.
PRIEST
The Priest prays to the gods to ease their wrath against Boetia. He is apparently successful, since Sateros wins the war.
PRISONERS
The Prisoners, lead by Raph, escape from prison; Sateros orders them to serve in his army or be hanged.
QUEEN GUINEVER
A "ghost character." Zelota claims that Raph has an appointment to mend Queen Guinever's shoes, despite the fact that the story is set in Ancient Greece. Zelota is mad when she says this, but the anachronism remains unaccountable.
RAPH COBBLER
Raph is the eponymous cobbler, who is chosen by Mercury to deliver a prophecy to Mars. Raph is alarmed and upset when Mercury punishes his shrewish wife, Zelota, by driving her mad. But he accepts the mission, and sets off on an epic journey to find Mars. On the way he encounters Sateros the Soldier, Emnius the Courtier, the Scholar, and the Country Gentleman debating who is the most worthy. Raph prophesies the absurdity of their pretensions in the face of the end of the world. He travels to Mars with Sateros the soldier, who plans to deliver a petition to Mars. They meet the Muses but Raph is misled by an Echo and runs off, thinking it is a person calling to him. He meets Charon and learns that Hell is overflowing with sinners. He and Sateros then meet the Porter and Herald of Mars, from whom they learn that Mars now resides at Venus's court. Raph delivers his prophecy to Mars. The prophecy announces that Mars is a cuckold. Raph then accompanies Sateros to the Duke of Boetia's court, where he saves the Duke's life by prophesying Emnius's treachery. Emnius is forgiven, but he then attacks Raph, who is saved by the mad Zelota who kills Emnius. The Duke sends Raph and Zelota to prison for murder. Raph leads the prisoners in a jailbreak, and they join the army Sateros is raising against the invaders of Boetia. At the end of the play, Raph complains to Mercury of his treatment, and Mercury asks Sateros to ensure that Raph and Zelota are pardoned by the Duke. The Duke obliges and all ends happily.
RU
Ru is a waiting-maid of Venus. With Ina, she looks after Ruina, the bastard child of Venus and Contempt.
RUINA
The bastard child of Venus and Contempt, named after the waiting-maids Ru and Ina who look after her.
SATEROS
Sateros is a valiant soldier who balefully seeks preferment. But the land has become idle and indolent in peacetime. 'Content' tries to seduce Sateros into doing homage to him, and introduces him to his converts: Emnius the Courtier, the Scholar and the Country Gentleman. Sateros decides not to join 'Content,' and determines to remain a soldier. He travels with Raph to meet with Mars. He encounters the Muses, and the Porter and Herald of Mars, who inform him that Mars now resides at the court of Venus. He delivers a petition to Mars, but Mars will not help and sends him to the Duke of Boetia. The Duke cannot employ Sateros in peacetime, and prefers the Scholar. However, when war breaks out, the Duke begs Sateros for help, and Sateros obliges. Sateros triumphs in battle. In the final scene he enters with Mars and Mercury, is honored by the Duke and embraces the Scholar.
SCHOLAR
The Scholar is an acolyte of 'Content' even though he sees through his pseudonym and knows him to be Contempt. He defends the role of the scholar before Sateros, Emnius and the Country Gentleman, but Raph puts him down by prophesying the death of learning. The Duke of Boetia employs him in preference to Sateros the soldier because it is peacetime. But when war breaks out, he has to defer to Sateros and eat humble pie. At the end of the play, he and Sateros embrace.
SECURITY
A "ghost character." An allegorical figure named as the nurse of Ruina.
SMALL VOICE
A woman with a small voice calls offstage for Charon's boat.
THALIA
Thalia is the Muse of Comedy. She is writing a pageant, but her pen wears out. She is working hard because nowadays everyone is so base that they are comic. Meanwhile, her sisters Melpomene (Tragedy) and Clio (History) are idle, since in peacetime there is nothing for them to write about. At the end of their scene, Thalia reveals that her pageant depicts Pleasure followed by Sorrow and Pain.
TISIPHONE
A "ghost character." One of the Furies. Melpomene warns that Tisiphone will whip cruel executors.
VENUS
Venus is the goddess of love. In the opening dumbshow she crosses the stage with Mars. Venus has seduced Mars, causing him to eschew war and live in her court as an effeminate lovelorn fool. But she is having an affair with Contempt under his nose. Raph's prophecy awakens Mars's suspicions, but Venus calms him and sends him to sleep with a lullaby. Once he is asleep she runs away with Contempt, and has a child by him, Ruina. But the synod of gods is outraged and demotes her from her status as goddess. And Contempt spurns her once he has had his way, calling her a strumpet.
VOICES WITHIN
Numerous offstage voices call for Charon's boat, signifying the crowded nature of Hell. These voices include a 'Small Voice' (a woman), a 'Great Voice' (a great man), and the Ghost of a Grey Friar.
VULCAN
The god of fire, husband of Venus. The cuckolded Vulcan limps across the stage in the opening dumbshow after Mars and Venus.
ZELOTA
Zelota is the shrewish wife of Raph Cobbler. Mercury punishes her by driving her insane, although this makes matters worse for Raph, so Mercury sends her to sleep. Later, Zelota runs on stage, still mad, just in time to stab Emnius to death as he tries to kill Raph. She then recovers her sanity. The Duke sends Raph and Zelota to prison for murder. But in the conclusion, the Duke pardons them.