Thomas Randolph?
(editor's note: The ascription to Randolph should be questioned; the character list is uncharacteristically small, and none of Randoph's favorite names appear herein (e.g. Asotus, Bomolochus, et cetera.))

THE DRINKING ACADEMY, or
The Cheaters' Holiday
(May be the same play as the presumably lost work The Prodigal Scholar that was entered into the Stationers' Register in 1660)

1626–1631

a synoptic, alphabetical character list

ALECTO
The disguise assumed by Bidstand; he pretends to be a ballad seller to distract Simple, so that Nimmer and Shirke can steal the letters he carries from Pecunia to Knowlittle.

JACK BIDSTAND
A friend of Shirke's, Bidstand helps to terrorize and steal from Worldly and Knowlittle. He dresses up as both Alecto, a ballad seller, and Pluto.

BOY
In the scene in which Bidstand, Nimmer and Shirke pretend to sell ballads, the Boy helps them.

KNOWLITTLE
The son of Worldly, he has been studying at the Drinking Academy to become more gentlemanly by learning to smoke, drink and quarrel. His success in these fields has won the heart of Pecunia and Knowlittle sends Simple to her with letters, while he practices ridiculous poetical compliments. With Worldly and Whiffe, he is tricked by Shirke, Nimmer and Bidstand into believing they are faced with Pluto and Pecunia's Ghost. All three are then robbed of money and clothes.

KNOWLITTLE'S MOTHER
Only mentioned. When Whiffe praises Knowlittle for being a quick study in the art of quarreling, Knowlittle says that he takes after his mother.

LADY INCONSTANTINA FFORTUNES
Only mentioned. Pecunia is her eldest daughter.

TOM NIMMER
Nimmer is a friend of Shirke's and helps him in his plots against Knowlittle. He delivers false messages to Knowlittle and Worldly, telling them both to visit Pecunia and setting up the robbery.

PECUNIA
A "ghost character". The object of affection for both Knowlittle and Shirke.

PECUNIA'S GHOST
The disguise assumed by Shirke to cheat Worldly, Knowlittle and Whiffe. As the ghost, Shirke accuses Worldly of killing her, a reference to his miserly behavior.

PLUTO
The disguise assumed by Bidstand to cheat Worldly, Knowlittle and Whiffe. Pluto, as the god of riches, is called Pecunia's father, and he appears to punish Worldly for killing Pecunia by locking her in a trunk (symbolizing his miserly attitude towards money).

TIMOTHY SHIRKE
Another suitor for the hand of Pecunia, he is appalled to hear that she now favors Knowlittle. He enlists the aid of his friends Bidstand and Nimmer first to steal letters from Pecunia to Knowlittle and then to pretend to be Pecunia's Ghost and Pluto, so that they can steal money and clothes from Knowlittle, Worldly and Whiffe.

SIMPLE
Simple is Knowlittle's servant. Like his master, he is trying to improve himself by learning to smoke tobacco, but cannot get the hang of it. He is sent with letters to Pecunia and on the way back is distracted by Bidstand pretending to sell ballads. His pocket is picked by Shirke and Nimmer. When confronted by the supposed ghost of Pecunia, he begs for mercy.

CHAUALERO WHIFFE
The tutor at the Drinking Academy. He teaches Knowlittle to smoke, drink and quarrel, and promises Worldly that he too can become a gentleman under his tutoring. He teaches Knowlittle ridiculous poetical compliments to speak to Pecunia, and has him practice on Worldly. He is with Wordly and Knowlittle when they are tricked by Bidstand, Nimmer and Shirke, and he loses his possessions and clothes.

WORLDLY
The miserly father of Knowlittle. He is ridiculously pleased that his son is becoming a gentleman by learning to smoke tobacco, drink and quarrel, and even seeks to learn these talents himself. When he stands in for Pecunia while Knowlittle practices his poetry, he becomes convinced that the compliments are actually directed at him. Although a miser, he is willing to buy a new suit of clothes to meet Lady Pecunia, a suit which is promptly stolen by Bidstand and Shirke when they pretend to be Pecunia's Ghost and Pluto.