He describes his various clients, his wares and their debts to him, explaining that he must be paid, to cover the cost of his sack. He opens for business and begins by showing a variety of 'points' for sale. They are not costume accessories but points of honesty, knavery, ignorance, good manners, false doctrine and the last is the final point of punctuation–the full stop. He follows this sequence with a verse.

The Pedlar goes on to produce items for sale one by one, with suitable witty satirical comments. He shows a Looking Glass, a Box of Cerebrum (brains), a Whetstone (to sharpen the wits of the University), Gloves, Night Caps and Ruffs.

He proceeds to offer a variety of Church appointments with satirical comments on career advancement via bribery.

His final treasure is a Wench made of Alabaster: his bawdy description makes plain that it is a well-used sex toy, which he prefers to women of flesh and extols as his Muse. He recites an explicit verse, in couplets, blazoning the Wench's ironic charms from her red eyes and yellow teeth to her warty fingers and stained smock. He decides that the Wench cannot be sold to the poor scholars of the University and moves on, next stop to richer pickings at the Court, and thence to Rome. He exits calling for his Coltstaffe (hobby-horse).