Philip Massinger, Thomas Middleton,
and William Rowley
THE OLD LAW, or A NEW WAY TO PLEASE YOU
circa 1615–1618
(traditional date of 1599 now rejected)
a synoptic, alphabetical character list
AGATHA
Agatha is the wife of Gnothos. Gnothos alters the parish register to make Agatha appear to be 60 years old, and thus ready for execution under the Old Law. Agatha is baffled and terrified to learn that she is older than she thought. She dances, in a mask, with Gnothos when the elderly wives of Creon's servants dance with their husbands, but when she reveals herself after the dance, Gnothos openly spurns her in favour of spending time with his new young fiancée, Siren. Agatha tries to avoid the law by feigning pregnancy, but Gnothos forces her to admit that her 'child' is just a cushion. Gnothos intends to celebrate Agatha's funeral and his new marriage on the same day, but his hopes are dashed when Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction. Evander condemns Gnothos to death for his behaviour, but Agatha and the other characters successfully plead for his life to be spared.
ANTIGONA
The mother of Simonides and wife of Creon. Antigona tries and fails to plead for Creon's life.
BAILIFF
Creon's Bailiff is made unemployed when Simonides inherits his father's estate. Along with the other servants, the Bailiff persuades Gnothos and the Clerk to help them find rich widows who are old enough to be executed under the Old Law. They marry these widows, and dance with them in a tavern. At the end of the play, Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, and the servants are thus lumbered with their elderly wives.
BUTLER
Creon's Butler is made unemployed when Simonides inherits his father's estate. Along with the other servants, the Butler persuades Gnothos and the Clerk to help them find rich widows who are old enough to be executed under the Old Law. They marry these widows, and dance with them in a tavern. At the end of the play, Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, and the servants are thus lumbered with their elderly wives.
CLEANTHES
Cleanthes is the virtuous son of Leonides, and husband of Hippolita. When the Old Law is announced, condemning all men over the age of eighty to death, Cleanthes is horrified. He persuades Leonides to hide in a country lodge, and fakes his funeral, claiming that he died naturally. Cleanthes is a preachy character; he upbraids old Lisander for behaving in a youthful manner, and Eugenia for being a strumpet. In revenge, Eugenia reveals to Duke Evander that Leonides is in hiding. Cleanthes is arrested and brought to trial, where he debates with Simonides, arguing for the transcendence of common sense and reason over the laws of kings. When Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, Cleanthes apologizes for doubting him. Evander makes Cleanthes a judge; his job will be to decide whether young heirs are sufficiently mature of mind to receive their inheritances.
CLERK
A parish clerk, who is persuaded by Gnothos to alter Agatha's date of birth in the parish register. The Clerk also makes a list of elderly widows for the servants of Creon.
COACHMAN
Unlike most of his servants, Creon's Coachman (like the footman) is retained by Simonides when he inherits his father's estate, as he needs someone to transport him to his whores.
COOK
Creon's Cook is made unemployed when Simonides inherits his father's estate. Along with the other servants, the Bailiff persuades Gnothos and the Clerk to help them find rich widows who are old enough to be executed under the Old Law. They marry these widows, and dance with them in a tavern. At the end of the play, Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, and the servants are thus lumbered with their elderly wives.
COURTIER 1
Like Simonides, the Courtiers are delighted with the Old Law because it brings them their inheritances sooner. Courtier 1 utters a speech about his disgust for the elderly. He woos Eugenia, along with Simonides and the other Courtiers. When the Courtiers taunt old Lisander for trying to look youthful, Lisander challenges Courtier 1 to a dancing competition, and beats him. Along with Simonides, the Courtiers act as judge and jury in the trial scene. They are disappointed when Evander reveals that the Old Law was merely a fiction.
COURTIER 2
Like Simonides, the Courtiers are delighted with the Old Law because it brings them their inheritances sooner. Courtier 2 woos Eugenia, along with Simonides and the other Courtiers. When the Courtiers taunt old Lisander for trying to look youthful, Lisander challenges Courtier 2 to a fencing bout, and beats him. Along with Simonides, the Courtiers act as judge and jury in the trial scene. They are disappointed when Evander reveals that the Old Law was merely a fiction.
CRATILUS
Cratilus is the executioner who administers death on the old men and women condemned under the Old Law. At the end of the play, Evander reveals that he is not really an executioner, but a man whom everyone believed had been travelling abroad.
CREON
The father of Simonides and husband of Antigona, Creon has reached the age of eighty and is thus ready for execution under the Old Law. Simonides is delighted by this news. Creon accepts his fate with fortitude, and is led away to execution. At the end of the play, Evander reveals that Creon and the other old men were not really executed.
DANCING-MASTER
Teaches Lisander to dance when he is trying to seem more youthful.
DIOCLES
A "ghost character." Although he does not appear on stage, he is an old man whose death Cratilus describes.
DRAWER
Serves drinks in the tavern where Gnothos and the servants of Creon celebrate.
EUGENIA
Eugenia is the nineteen-year-old second wife of old Lisander. She hates being married to an old man. When the Old Law is announced, Simonides and the other Courtiers woo her, in anticipation of Lisander's death. When talking with her cousin Hippolita, Eugenia pretends to be sad about Lisander's fate, and Hippolita, taking pity on her, tells her about the lodge where she and Cleanthes have hidden old Leonides. When Cleanthes rails on her for being a strumpet, Eugenia gets her revenge by telling Evander where Leonides is hiding. At the end of the play, Lisander is taken away to his death, and Eugenia prepares to marry Simonides. But then Evander reveals that the Old Law was only a fiction. He makes a new law, to be judged by Hippolita, under which women who design their husband's death may not remarry for ten years afterward.
EVANDER
Evander is Duke of the Greek city of Epire. He has proclaimed 'The Old Law', whereby all men over eighty, and all women over sixty are to be executed. He presides over the arrest and supposed execution of Creon, Leonides and Lisander. At the end of the play, he watches the debate between Simonides and Cleanthes over monarchical versus common law, and then reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, designed to test the morality of his subjects. He reveals that Creon, Lisander and Leonides are still alive, and appoints Cleanthes and Hippolita as judges over new laws, which are designed to punish greedy young people. Disgusted by Gnothos' activities at the end, he orders his death, but is persuaded to relent. Finally, he reveals that Cratilus is not really an executioner.
FOOTMAN
Unlike most of his servants, Creon's footman (like the Coachman) is retained by Simonides when he inherits his father's estate, as he can win him wagers by winning races.
GNOTHOS
The play's clown character is a 'great man in the parish'. He pays a Clerk to alter his wife Agatha's date of birth in the parish register, so as to make her seem old enough for execution under the Old Law. He also helps the servants of Creon to find elderly widows to marry. He treats Agatha with open disdain, flirting with his new, young fiancée, Siren, in front of her. He plans to bury Agatha and marry Siren on the same day, and travels to Evander's court for that purpose, bringing a huge wedding-cake and accompanied by Creon's servants. But Evander reveals that the Old Law was only a fiction, and threatens to sentence Gnothos to death for his misdeeds. Gnothos laments his misfortune, but Agatha and the other characters beg for his life to be spared.
HIPPOLITA
The wife of Cleanthes. Hippolita assists her husband in persuading her father-in-law Leonides to avoid execution under the Old Law by hiding in his forest lodge. She and Cleanthes pretend that Leonides has died of natural causes, and fake his funeral. But when Hippolita's cousin Eugenia affects sadness at the ensuing demise of her elderly husband, Hippolita is consumed with pity and reveals that Leonides has been saved. Eugenia reveals the deception to Duke Evander who orders Leonides' execution. Hippolita feels guilty for bringing about the discovery. In the trial scene she begs for mercy for Cleanthes and Leonides, but her suit is refused. When Evander reveals at the end of the play that the Old Law was a fiction, he makes Hippolita a judge, with the job of ensuring that wives like Eugenia who plot their husbands' death do not immediately remarry.
LAWYERS
Two Lawyers explain and justify the Old Law to Simonides and Cleanthes in the opening scene. Their justifications prove foolish when, in the closing scene, it is discovered that the Old Law is merely a fiction.
LEONIDES
Cleanthes' father is eighty, and thus marked for death under the Old Law. Cleanthes and Hippolita persuade him to disobey the law. Since he has no wish to leave his country, they encourage him to hide in his forest lodge. The children then pretend that he has died of natural causes. Leonides is discovered when Hippolita tells Eugenia of the deception and she reveals it to Evander. Leonides is arrested and taken away to execution. But at the end of the play, Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, and that Leonides and the other old men were not really killed.
LISANDER
An old man with a nineteen-year-old second wife, Eugenia. Lisander is angered by the suitors who are wooing Eugenia in anticipation of his execution under the Old Law. In response, he dyes his beard black, and tries to behave in a youthful manner. He successfully defeats Courtier 1 at dancing, Courtier 2 at fencing, and Simonides at drinking. But Cleanthes upbraids Lisander for embracing youthful folly rather than mature wisdom. In accordance with the Law, Lisander is sentenced to execution and taken away to his death. But at the end of the play, Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, and that Creon and the other old men were not really killed.
OFFICER
Arrests Cleanthes after the capture of Leonides.
OLD WOMEN
Non-speaking roles. Four elderly widows whom the Butler, Tailor, Cook and Bailiff marry, hoping to inherit their wealth when they are executed under the Old Law. The masked old women dance with the servants in a tavern. At the end of the play, Evander reveals that the Old Law is a fiction, and the servants are lumbered with their elderly wives.
PARTHENIA
Daughter of Lisander, stepdaughter of Eugenia. Parthenia is angered by Eugenia's suitors, and protests against her hatred of the elderly.
POLLUX
A "ghost character." Although he does not appear on stage, he is the father of Agatha according to the Parish register.
SIREN
Gnothos' wench, whom he intends to marry as soon as Agatha is dead.
SIMONIDES
Simonides is the wicked son of Creon and Antigona. He is delighted to learn that his father is old enough to be executed under the Old Law. Although he makes a show of sadness to his face, Simonides brings Creon before Evander and demands that the law be fulfilled. He then woos Eugenia, the young wife of old Lisander. Lisander challenges Simonides to a drinking competition, and beats him. Simonides is present at the arrest of Leonides, and, along with the Courtiers, he prevents Cleanthes from attacking Eugenia. In the trial scene, he enters into a debate with Cleanthes, arguing for the transcendent authority of laws made by kings. When Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, Simonides apologizes grudgingly for his behaviour. Under Evander's new laws, Simonides will not receive his inheritance until he has been judged by Cleanthes to be mature of mind.
TAILOR
Creon's Tailor is made unemployed when Simonides inherits his father's estate. Along with the other servants, the Tailor persuades Gnothos and the Clerk to help them find rich widows who are old enough to be executed under the Old Law. They marry these widows, and dance with them in a tavern. At the end of the play, Evander reveals that the Old Law was a fiction, and the servants are thus lumbered with their elderly wives.