I.i October 9, the beginning of the law term, finds the characters coming to London. Rearage, a gentleman who is in debt and who may have sold his ancestral home—as suggested by his friend's name (Salewood)—is courting the daughter of a local merchant, one Quomodo. The mother, Mistress Thomasine Quomodo, favors him as a son, but the daughter and Quomodo favor a foppish new-man named Lethe (who seems to be a Scot and who has changed his name from Andrew Gruel to Andrew Lethe). A young gentleman, Easy by name, has also come to town for the term.

Two "spirits"—that is knaves in league with Quomodo—Falselight (indicating the darkness of shops kept by dishonest merchants) and Shortyard (indicating a false measuring stick used by dishonest merchants) discover the gullible Easy and plot to strip him of his lands.

Lethe's mother, Mother Gruel, comes to town looking for her wayward son and finds him, though she does not recognize him, dressed as he is as Andrew Lethe. Lethe employs her to take a letter to Mistress Quomodo. Lethe, the fop that he is, believes that Mistress Quomodo does not favor him for a son-in-law because she wants him for herself, and his letter says that she will have greater access to him if he is married to her daughter. He gives his poor mother a few coins to carry the letter.

I.ii Meanwhile, Hellgill, a pander, has lured a country wench to the city with promises of wealth and good living in order to sell her virginity to Lethe, who has an appetite for young women.

II.i Shortyard disguises himself as one Blastfield and, at Quomodo's direction and financial support, befriends Easy and pays for his stay in London. He lures Easy into a dice game and Easy loses all. Shortyard/Blastfield tells him that he can get plenty of money from his rich friends, because his credit is so good about the town, and suggests that he lend Easy some money so Easy may entertain his new-found friends at a party on the next night. Easy agrees and invites everyone to be his guest on the next night.

II.ii The country wench's father comes to town to reclaim his wayward daughter. He disguises himself to search for her and accidentally winds up in the service of his daughter, now made a "lady," so that neither father nor daughter recognize the other because of their disguises.

II.iii Mother Gruel delivers Lethe's letter to Thomasine, Quomodo's wife, who reacts violently to Lethe's insinuations. She gives the old woman money and sends her back with a scathing rebuff.

Shortyard/Blastfield brings Easy to Quomodo's shop in order to borrow money for the party. Thomasine listens to them from above. Quomodo says he has no ready cash because he is waiting for a loan to be called in. Instead he says he will give them a bolt of cloth, valued at 200 pounds, to sell to another merchant in order to raise the cash. They agree to the terms and Shortyard/Blastfield enters into a promissory note and he and Quomodo gull Easy into guaranteeing the note "for fashion's sake." Thomasine sees what is happening and pities Easy. The note is drawn up and witnessed by Dustbox, a scrivener, and all is legally binding. As soon as the deal is struck news comes that all trade to Middleborrow is cut off and the cloth has come back unsold. Falselight enters disguised as Master Idem and offers three-score pounds for the cloth, which Easy is eager to accept. It is, of course, part of the gulling that Quomodo has orchestrated. He has sold the cloth for 200 pounds and bought it back via Falselight for 60 pounds, binding Easy to repay the debt of 200 pounds in the process. He knows Easy is broke (owing to Shortyard's ministrations) and will have to yield his lands to Quomodo in satisfaction of the debt.

III.i Hellgill makes the country wrench ready for his trap by dressing her as a lady. The country wench discovers Lethe intends to marry Susan, Quomodo's daughter, and swears vengeance. Her disguised father admonishes her not to be whorish. Father and daughter, both disguised, do not recognize one another.

III.ii Easy searches in vain for Blastfield.

III.iii Shortyard and Falselight, disguised as sergeants, arrest Easy.

III.iv. Easy is taken to Quomodo. Thomasine watches from above, pitying Easy. Falselight and Shortyard disguise themselves as wealthy merchants and stand bail for Easy, who signs a recullisance, a document acknowledging the debt and the security that is forfeit if he defaults.

III.v Easy again goes in search of Blastfield. It is all in vain.

IV.i The disguised Shortyard and Falselight return Easy to Quomodo where he is made to sign over his lands in satisfaction of the debt. Easy leaves with Thomasine.

IV.ii The country wench and her father, still both disguised, pass over the stage. He admonishes her regarding virtue and realizes "We're bad by nature, but by custom worst."

IV.iii Quomodo fakes his own death in order to see if his widow and heir (his son Sim) are worthy to inherit.

IV.iv Quomodo—disguised as a Beadle—comes to test his family as they visit a counterfeit corpse. Sim says his father was a lout. Thomasine acts as if she misses her husband, and he is fooled by her pretense. In secret she actually goes to marry Easy, who hopes that the devil grinds Quomodo's bones.

V.i Shortyard gulls Sim out of the lands Quomodo stole from Easy.

Easy threatens Shortyard with the law and is returned his lands.

Quomodo, still disguised as the Beadle and believing Thomasine is true to him, goes to collect the Beadle's fee from her. He unmasks his deception by signing his right name to the receipt for the Beadle's fees. Only then does he learn that she has been untrue and married Easy. They all go to the judge.

V.ii Officers bring Lethe in with his strumpet. He was caught philandering on his wedding day morn with the country wench. Susan sees her mistake in Lethe and marries Rearage.

V.iii In court Quomodo is given his wife back, but loses his lands. Lethe is ordered to marry the country wench. Falselight and Shortyard are banished.

Characterization:

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Notes of Interest:

Middleton parodies the "happy ending" marriage motif in comedies of the day. The "marriage" ministered by the judge between Quomodo and Thomasine is anything but a happy resolution, Easy is annulled, Lethe is made to marry a punk against his will, and the only hopeful union--Susan and Rearage--is barely mentioned.

Plays to be compared:

Middleton's A Mad World, My Masters (for the moral that "wit destroys wit" (MT V.i.44) and "No sin to beggar a deceiver . . ." (MT IV.iii.22) and also for the bawd marriage;

Jonson, Marston, and Chapman's Eastward Hoe! (for a reference to the sort of con played upon Easy here);

Marston's The Dutch Curtezan (for the action of the wronged and vengeful whore).

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