EVERY MAN IN HIS HUMOUR
1598
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I.i: Old Knowell is worried about his son Ed (also "Ned"). The boy is too interested in poetry. Knowell's nephew, Stephen, a "country gull," has just purchased a hawk. He knows nothing of hawking. Knowell wonders what's become of the younger generation that is given to the idle pastimes of poetry and hawking.
Stephen is proud that he is next in line after Ed to inherit from the wealthy old man and hopes his cousin might die young. A servant enters with a letter for "Edward Knowell", since that is Old Knowell's name as well as his son's, he takes the letter and reads it. It is from Ed's riotous friend, Wellbred. Wellbred is Mistress Kitely's brother and is living at the house of his sister and brother-in-law along with Kitely's virginal sister, Bridget. The letter casts some aspersions on Old Knowell and entreats Ed to meet Wellbred in London. (The Knowells live north of the city wall in Hogsdon). Knowell sends the letter on to Ed via Brainworm, the Knowell's servant, with explicit instructions not to reveal to Ed that Knowell opened and read the letter. Knowell determines to follow Ed into town unseen and try to sway his son from the riotous behavior in which he fears Ed engages.
I.ii: Brainworm tells Ed that Knowell read the letter. The letter informs Ed that Wellborn has met two ("a brace of") foolish men who will make them good sport if Ed agrees to meet him in London. Ed determines to go and also to bring along his foolish cousin, Stephen, to give him and Wellborn yet more fodder for their amusement.
I.iii: Matthew, "a city gull," comes to Cob's house to visit his friend, Captain Bobadill. Bobadill is lodging in the humble abode of Cob, who is a water-carrier (called "cobs" by Elizabethans). There is reference to Roger Bacon's "Brazen head" in remarks passed between Matthew and Cob (cf. Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay) when Matthew's "rasher-bacon" is mistaken for "Roger Bacon" by Cob.
I.iv: Inside of Cob's house Bobadill at first tells Tib, Cob's wife, not to allow any gentlemen to visit him there (he is obviously poorer than he lets on and can afford no better than lodging at a water-carrier's, but he doesn't want his fellows to know of his mean lodgings). When Matthew comes in anyway, Bobadill tells him that he lives there for its convenient location. Matthew, of course, is gulled by the explanation and promises not to tell their fellows of Bobadill's lodging—"Not that I need to care who know it . . . but in regard I would not be too popular, and generally visited." Matthew is reading The Spanish Tragedy ("Go by, Hieronymo.") There is a critique—generally favorable—of the play by the two fools.
Matthew tells Bobadill that Downright (Wellbred's half-brother) has insulted Matthew greatly. Bobadill promises to teach Matthew some fencing tricks so that he might kill Downright in a duel. There is a bit of fencing japery with bed-sticks. Bobadill does not actually engage Matthew in fencing though (we learn later that he cannot really use a sword properly) but rather invites Matthew to a tavern where a fencing master might be brought in and Bobadill might act as couch rather than sparring partner.
II.i: Kitely, Cash, and Downright are speaking. Kitely praises Cash, whom he reared from a child. Kitely is distressed over his brother-in-law's recent behavior. Wellbred has taken to rioting. Kitely asks Downright to speak to Wellbred and admonish him to put off his foolishness. The truth is that Kitely is jealous of his wife and fearful of his virgin sister's chastity in the company of Wellbred's riotous friends. Matthew and Bobadill enter looking for Wellbred, insult Downright, and leave. Downright would be revenged, but Kitely entreats him not to be violent in his house. Kitely, alone, fears cuckoldry. When Dame Kitely enters to entreat him to breakfast he fears she has overheard.
II.ii: Brainworm enters disguised as a disabled veteran of war. He hopes to thwart Knowell's attempt to follow Ed. Ed and Stephen enter. To test his disguise Brainworm begs alms from Ed and Stephen. He offers to sell Stephen his sword, which he claims is from Toledo. Despite Ed's warning to the contrary, Stephen buys the sword.
II.iii: Knowell enters in pursuit of his son. Brainworm, as the veteran, begs from Knowell. Knowell, out of pity, employs the veteran, whom Brainworm has named Fitzsword ("son of the sword"). Brainworm is jubilant that the trick worked.
III.i: Matthew, Bobadill, and Wellbred are all met in the district where Wellbred lives—the Old Jewry. The fools try to tell Wellbred of Downright's treatment of them, but Wellbred will hear no bad word against his brother. Ed comes in and tells Wellbred that Knowell has read the letter. The two decide to make the best of an embarrassing situation and treat the incident as a prank.
Ed and Wellbred entertain themselves by watching the foolish threesome interact. Stephen puts on a fashionable melancholic air, which Matthew imitates as the melancholy poet, Bobadill relates outrageous boasts of his war record. Stephen shows the soldier his newly purchased sword and is enraged to learn that it is not a Toledo blade at all. Just as he swears to be revenged on the old veteran that sold it to him, Brainworm as Fitzsword enters. Fitzsword confesses that the blade is not Toledo, and Stephen is satisfied that his honor has been upheld by the confession (actually, he is a coward and did not want to fight).
Fitzsword (Brainworm) takes Ed aside and reveals his true identity. He tells Ed that Knowell has followed him and is now at Justice Clement's. When Wellbred learns that Knowell is so near the Windmill (the tavern they frequent) he says all is well, and he devises a prank.
III.ii: Kitely needs to be away from his house for two hours on business. He is so fearful of being cuckolded in that time that he decides against going. Cash reminds him that Snare, the scrivener, will be there. Kitely realizes that he must go. He begins to tell Cash a secret before going, but thinks better of it and at last gives Cash instructions to send word to him immediately if Wellbred should return with any of his friends.
Cob enters after Kitely leaves and delivers his famous "fasting day" polemic. When Wellbred returns (with Ed, Brainworm, Bobadill, Matthew, and Stephen), Cash begins looking for a messenger to run for Kitely. Wellbred learns from Cash that Kitely went to Justice Clement's. As Bobadill engages in a long discourse in praise of tobacco, Cash finds Cob and tells him to fetch Kitely. Cob overhears Bobadill's praise and, in turn, dispraises tobacco. Bobadill beats him with a cudgel for his trouble. Cash hurries Cob onto Kitely.
III.iii: Cob delivers his message to Kitely that the rioters have returned to his house. Kitely, fearing the cuckold's horns, rushes home. Clement, Knowell, and Formal enter. Cob pleads for a warrant against Bobadill for beating him. When Clement learns that Cob had spoken against tobacco he sentences Cob to jail. Knowell intercedes for Cob. The jail sentence is rescinded, and Cob gets the warrant against Bobadill. After Cob leaves, Clement advises Knowell to take heart, that Ed is not a bad boy. He is just a young man having fun.
IV.i: Downright is scolding Dame Kitely for allowing the rioters to use her house for their parties. Bridget enters with the rioters. Matthew reads some of "his" poetry, which sends Downright away in disgust. Matthew's poetry turns out to be lifted directly from "Hero and Leander". Downright comes forth and insults the practice of poetry. Swords are drawn on all sides. The servants must separate the men. After all are safe, Bobadill makes some brave passes at the air and talks boldly. The rioters leave. Dame Kitely and Bridget speak well of Ed, who conducted himself as a gentleman. Kitely enters to overhear this praise of Ed and is convinced the women have hidden Ed in the house. He goes about to search for Ed.
IV.ii: Cob has returned to his home; he has been made fearful of cuckoldry by Kitely's fears. When Tib refers to soldiers, Cob believes she is seeing Bobadill and produces the warrant he has against the braggart soldier. He orders Tib to keep inside and not to open the door to anyone.
IV.iii: Ed and Wellbred send Brainworm out with a false message to Downright. Ed tells Wellborn that he admires Bridget. Wellborn says he has a plan to get the two of them married immediately.
IV.iv: Brainworm, as Fitzsword, finds Knowell and Formal at Clement's. He tells Knowell that the rioters held him prisoner because they knew he was Ed's father's man. He tells Knowell that Ed intends an assignation at Cob's house. Knowell leaves to stop Ed. Brainworm entices Formal to a tavern where he will relate his war stories.
IV.v: In the Moorfields (north of the city wall) the three fools and Ed prepare to meet Downright. Downright meets them, disarms Bobadill and beats him. Matthew runs away. After Downright leaves, Stephen retrieves the cloak Downright had dropped in the fighting. Bobadill rationalizes his beating by saying he was forced to keep the peace by the warrant Cob had delivered to him. Ed tells him that the warrant does not keep him from defending himself.
IV.vi: Wellbred, the Kitely's, and Bridget meet. Wellbred says there is no harm in the rioters anymore than there is poison in Kitely's clothes or wine. Kitely immediately thinks he has been poisoned. Wellbred acknowledges that he is poisoned only with his own jealousy. Brainworm enters disguised as Formal, Clement's man. He got Formal drunk and stole his clothes. Wellbred whispers to him to tell Ed to meet him and Bridget at the Tower. Brainworm tells Kitely that Clement wants to see him. Kitely tells Cash his secret, that he suspects Dame Kitely's fidelity, and instructs him to watch her closely around other men. He leaves calling for Cob.
When Dame Kitely asks why Kitely is always calling Cob, Wellbred tells her that Cob's wife is a bawd of Kitely's acquaintance. Dame Kitely becomes jealous and goes to Cob's with Cash in order to catch her husband at the bawdyhouse. Kitely returns to find his wife gone. Wellbred tells him she has gone to Cob's with Cash. Kitely believes that she has gone there to cuckold him. He follows her. Wellbred grabs Bridget and they head for the Tower.
IV.vii: Matthew and Bobadill rationalize their cowardice to one another and determine to get up a warrant against Downright. The meet Brainworm disguised as Formal and pay him to write the warrant. Brainworm promises to write the warrant and also to get a sergeant who will deliver it. To the audience Brainworm reveals that he will pawn the ear jewel he received from Matthew and the silk stockings Bobadill gave him in payment for the warrant. With this money along with money he will receive for Formal's clothes he intends to buy a sergeant's uniform.
IV.viii: At Cob's house. Knowell comes looking for Ed. Tib tells him she's never heard of Ed. She refuses to allow Knowell in (because Cob told her not to open the door to anyone). This convinces Knowell that Ed is inside. He says he'll fetch a constable. Dame Kitely enters looking for Kitely. Knowell thinks that Dame Kitely is Ed's bedmate. When Dame Kitely asks for her husband, Knowell thinks it is a ruse to dupe him. Kitely enters muffled in a cloak. Knowell thinks he is Ed. Dame Kitely unmasks Kitely, believing she has caught him in disguise on his way to the bawdyhouse. Kitely believes that she is trying to hide her guilt by accusing the accuser. He thinks Knowell is her bedmate. Cob enters and beats Tib, believing that she opened the house against his express order (and is entertaining the men who have cuckolded him). They all go to Justice Clement's to straighten out the contretemps.
IV.ix: Brainworm enters disguised as a sergeant. Matthew and Bobadill tell him that he might recognize Downright by his russet cloak. When Stephen enters he is arrested by mistake because he is wearing Downright's cloak. The mistake is sorted out at once as Downright enters. Downright is arrested, and he pays the sergeant (Brainworm) to arrest Stephen for theft of his cloak. They all go off for Justice Clement.
V.i: Justice Clement's hall. Knowell, Cob, Tib, the Kitelys, and Cash are before Clement trying to sort out the mess. They determine that Wellbred has had a hand in the fiasco, having told both of the Kitelys about Cob's place and having apparently escaped with Bridget. Bobadill, Matthew, Stephen, Downright, and Brainworm (disguised as a sergeant) enter. Stephen, accused of stealing, swears that he found the cloak. When Clement learns that Downright was arrested on a warrant that Formal wrote without Clement's signature and that the sergeant made an arrest on Downright without a proper warrant, he chastises Downright and threatens the sergeant for misfeasance in office. In order to save himself from jail, Brainworm unmasks and tells everyone that he knows all about the confusions. Clement thinks it is all an excellent joke. Formal enters in a suit of armor—that being the only clothes he could find when he awoke naked in the tavern. Wellbred enters with the newlywed Ed and Bridget. Clement reunites the Kitelys and Cobs, discharges the warrants, and gives the day over to celebration and amity.
The play, presented in 1598, was first acted at the Curtain theatre.
The play exists in Quarto (where the action takes place in Italy), was probably revised around 1612, and the 1616 Folio of Jonson's works begins with this play in the form we generally accept as authoritative today. Jonson considered this play to be his truly first theatrical work. Although he had co-written and revised plays before, this marks his first solo attempt.
The etymology of the term "to get off scot-free" is made clear at III.iii.65—the "lot and scot" were parish assessments. Synopsis:
The Prologue tells us that this play will not belabor the war of the Roses or spend an inordinate amount of time telling the tale (taking up "threescore years" in the progression of the action). Characterization:
The characters are meant by Jonson to represent certain "humors":
Knowell is the foolish father, more a New Comedy character than a humor character.
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Ed is the bright son—again in New Comedy tradition.
Brainworm is the clever servant—New Comedy.
Stephen is the New Comedy gull, though he affects a melancholy humor.
Downright is a humor character. He is choleric.
Wellbred is more like Ed, a good schemer, than like a humor character.
Clement is a humor character—phlegmatic.
Kitely is the jealous husband of New Comedy, the fearful cuckold, who as a compulsive neurotic demonstrates his humor.
Dame Kitely is a female Kitely. She can be made jealous, but she does not go so far as Kitely with her jealousies.
Bridget is a simple ingenue.
Matthew, like Stephen, is the gull of New Comedy tradition.
Cob and Tib act as parodies of the Kitelys.
Bobadill is a Miles Gloriosus or, more contemporaneously, a Roister Doister. Notes of Interest:
An actor's bill identifies Old Knowell as having been played by William Shakespeare. We know that Garrick played Kitely in the eighteenth century and that Dickens delighted in playing Bobadill in his amateur theatricals.