I.i The goldsmith, William Touchstone has a good apprentice, Golding, and a bad apprentice, Francis Quicksilver. Likewise, he has a meek daughter, Mildred, and a proud daughter, Gertrude. His wife, Mrs. Touchstone, is a nag.

II.i Gertrude wants nothing more than to marry a knight and become a lady so she can ride about in a coach and put on airs. Mrs. Touchstone wants nothing better for Gertrude. The two of them conspire to marry Gertrude to a forty-pound knight (that is, a knight who bought his title from James I for forty pounds-a tactic of James I's for raising money)—this forty-pound knight is named Sir Petronel Flash. Petronel has misrepresented his station to Gertrude in order to marry her for a tract of land Gertrude was given by her grandmother. Although Petronel has told Gertrude he has a castle in the East, the truth is he has nothing. Petronel has staked all his fortunes on a voyage to Virginia, which he is sponsoring—and for which he requires the extra money Gertrude's estate will bring if he marries her.

II.i Francis Quicksilver is a lout. He spends his days at the theatres rather than plying his trade under the apprenticeship of Touchstone. He demonstrates his knowledge of plays by quoting liberally from Henry IV, The Spanish Tragedy, Tamburlaine, etc. As Mrs. Touchstone is setting up the marriage of Gertrude and Petronel, Touchstone is quietly arranging the marriage of Mildred and Golding.

II.ii Quicksilver has delusions of being a gallant, and spends much of his time with young gentry and forty-pound knights, gambling, drinking, and lending them money. He helps entrap these young wags in the web of Security, the usurer, by gaining their confidence, signing notes of indebtedness for loans with them for which Security would proceed only against the knight to recover the whole sum extended on credit.

After the weddings, Gertrude becomes insufferable. She insists upon being called "Your ladyship" and such, which Mrs. Touchstone accepts as only fitting but Touchstone rejects.

Quicksilver is shortly thereafter relieved of his apprenticeship for his wayward habits.

II.ii Quicksilver goes to Security, retrieves his "gallant's" wardrobe, and falls into a plot to get Petronel's money (the which Petronel has only just received from his marriage to Gertrude.) Because of Petronel's over-extended credit, and the fact that his former creditors are after him, he is easy prey for Quicksilver.

II.iii Quicksilver convinces Petronel to con Gertrude into signing over a deed of sale of her land to Security.

III.i Petronel gives Winifred a diamond, and her husband Security (unsuspecting of his intentions) bids her kiss him. Of course, Security is only greasing the wheels of his confidence trick, or so he thinks.

III.ii Just before Gertrude sets off to see her new castle (which she supposes is in the East somewhere) she is given for a maidservant one Sindefy, who happens to be Quicksilver's punk and Security's agent in the swindle of Gertrude and Petronel, and persuaded to sign a deed of sale over to Security by both Quicksilver and Petronel—it is done before a scrivener and Security's lawyer, Bramble. Gertrude then leaves in her beloved coach for the non-existent castle of Petronel.

Petronel, having no intention of remaining true to his marriage vows, conspires with Quicksilver to get Security's young wife, Winifred, to accompany Petronel on the voyage to Virginia. Petronel first tells Security that he is enamored of the lawyer Bramble's wife, and that Security can assist Petronel by bringing Bramble out to see them off on their voyage (in order, supposedly, to get Bramble out of his house so that Quicksilver can get in, disguise Bramble's wife, and slip her by the attorney without his knowledge—but actually to do the same to Security with Winifred while Security believes the woman to be Bramble's wife.) Security unwittingly assists them to cuckold him by offering one of Winifred's new dresses as a disguise for Bramble's wife—he says that it will be quite a good joke on Bramble that Bramble will think they are stealing Winifred when, in fact, they are stealing Bramble's wife. This is especially poignant in that Security is a January character to Winifred's May, and is most jealous of her.

III.iii The night of the voyage comes and a tempest stirs. The wife stealing goes off as planned. Quicksilver passes the "disguised" Winifred past Security and Bramble, the latter insists that they are making off with Winifred, but Security, believing her to be Bramble's wife, "tut-tut's" Bramble. After they see the group off and Security goes to his empty house, he realizes he has been duped and cuckolded.

IV.i Slitgut, a butcher's apprentice, is at the bend in the Thames known as Cuckold's Haven to hang a pair of Ox horns on a tree to:

1. commemorate the cuckolding of a miller by King John at that spot, and
2. commemorate St. Luke's day, 18 October (whose emblem of the ox's horns was also the emblem of cuckoldry, of course).

Next, Winifred is swept up onto shore after her boat has sunk (where she was riding with Quicksilver to the ship) and Winifred is washed up on St. Katherine's (a place where penitent whores went). She is met by the drawer of the tavern where she was sneaked past Security (the drawer had followed expecting trouble). He takes her back where she began and gives her some of her dry clothing, which she had left behind.

Next Quicksilver is washed up on Wapping (where pirates were hanged) without his fine clothes; they have been washed away in the river. He speaks words of repentance for his foul deeds and leaves to wander.

Next, Petronel and the sea captain are washed up on the Isle of Dogs (on the opposite shore from Greenwich where James I held court, placing he who would be a knight on the wrong side of the river from the court). They believe, because they had been so drunk when they set out, that they have shipwrecked on the coast of France. They are met by Quicksilver who, apparently forgetting his penitence, contrives to have them live by chiseling money and counterfeiting silver. Petronel and the sea captain follow him.

Next Winifred enters newly-attired and meets Security. She convinces him that she was merely asleep when he had come home earlier and that he had not been cuckolded at all.

IV.ii By this time Gertrude has returned from the East, and Touchstone has learned that there was no castle (which he had suspected all the while). Golding, because of his high and honest ways, has suddenly been made a deputy alderman, which pleases Touchstone greatly.

Gertrude, still too proud to kneel to her father, is cast away from Touchstone's house with her servant, Sindefy.

Petronel and Quicksilver are caught by the police and brought to Touchstone, who has Golding sit in judgment of them. Touchstone prefers charges against Quicksilver for conversion of his wealth, Petronel for conspiracy against Gertrude, and Security for fraud. All three are thrown into prison to await the sessions.

V.i Mrs. Touchstone prevails upon Gertrude to go to Mildred and have her beg Touchstone to release Petronel and Quicksilver from jail.

V.ii Touchstone learns from the jailer, Wolf, that the three men have become truly penitent and holy in jail. Touchstone fears he will relent if he hears any more and refuses to listen to the conversion of Petronel, Quicksilver, and Security. He forbids Mildred or Gertrude or Golding to entreat for their release and refuses to read the petitions the prisoners send to him for forgiveness.

V.iii Golding conspires with Wolf to pretend to arrest Golding so that Touchstone will be forced to come to the prison in order to bail him. The idea being that, once Touchstone sees the contrition of his three enemies, he will relent.

V.iv Despite his adamancy not to visit the jail, Touchstone relents when he learns that Golding has been arrested.

V.v The plan works. Touchstone hears Quicksilver singing his "Repentance" and drops his charges against all three. Petronel begs and receives forgiveness of his wife, Gertrude. Quicksilver is required to marry Sindefy, which he gladly accepts (and, in his contrition, insists upon walking home through Cheapside in his prison clothes to act as an example to the children). Security must give Sindefy a dower and accept his cuckolding because that he "being a usurer, and likely to go to hell, the devils will never torment you; they'll take you for one o' their own race." To this Security is resolved. All ends qualifiedly happy.

Other names—such as Sindefy (defier of sin), Security (he who takes back security for a loan of money), Petronel Flash (a petronel is a horse-pistol, attached to the breast belt of a cavalryman, it also means anything which hangs from such a belt, therefore his name means, first, simply a hanger-on and, second, a flash-in-the-pan-the "pan" also being an image of a pistol, or a flintlock (the "pan" being the flat plate which the hammer struck to ignite the powder behind the ball)), Seagull, Scapethrift, Spendall, Slitgut, Holdfast, Wolf, Fangs, and Bramble all tend to be shorthand definitions of the characters or their trades.

The prologue states "Nor is our title utterly enforced," engaging in a double entendre. First, it means that the titles granted to the forty-pound knights are truly enforced titles. Second, it indicates that the play's title, Eastward Ho!, is not merely enforced by the other popular plays which preceded it, Northward Ho! and the very popular Westward Ho!, but has its own raison d'être and stands by itself as an apt title for the work in question.

"Eastward Ho!" was the cry of Thames river boatmen plying the water, which alerted shoreside persons that the boat was about to launch and head East, for anyone interested in purchasing passage in that direction. It is significant to this play for several reasons:

• First, the ill-fated voyage to Virginia, although it will ultimately head West across the ocean, must begin by heading east up the Thames to the ship.
• Second, James I's court at Greenwich lay East of the city and the forty-pound knights, those seeking special favors and elevation in rank could be said to have an "Eastward Ho!" mentality, such as demonstrated by Petronel Flash in his purchase of his court title, by Gertrude in her obsessive need to be made a lady of the court, and even in Quicksilver, who, after being relieved of his apprenticeship, first considers going to court for preferment. East in this case is also taken as the opposite of going off for hanging at Tyburn, where criminals and the low-lifes went, which was in the West.
• Third, Gertrude goes to the East to discover that she has been duped by Petronel Flash, so East can be seen as a sort of area to go in order to be undeceived. This is also apparent in the Fourth instance:
• It is to the East that Petronel Flash, Quicksilver, Security, and Winifred flee, are shipwrecked, and come to terms with their self-recognition.

Clothing imagery is very important in the play. Quicksilver changes his apprentice clothes for a gallant's clothes and loses them in the river at the point of his greatest sin and finally insists upon being paraded through Cheapside in his prison clothes to act as a lesson to the children. Gertrude first appears in French finery, is duped into signing the deed of sale to her property with a promise for fine clothes in exchange, must sell all her clothing when she falls on hard times, and finally resorts to living "by the needle" (sewing) with Sindefy (suggestive of her willingness to "mend her ways").

There is some suggestion that this play was played in two modes—the good guys played their parts with good English accents and the bad guys played their parts with Scots accents. To be sure, such Scot-baiting bits as are to be found at I.ii.47-48; III.iii.38 et seq.; IV.i.167-68; V.i.32-41 (and other references to forty-pound knights passim) are to be blamed for the three authors (with the possible exception of Marston) being jailed.

Golding's tale is much like the latter-day Horatio Alger stories of rags-to-riches, poor-boy-makes-good, which were popular in the Renaissance (Cf., e.g. The Shoemaker's Holiday).

Quicksilver's tale reflects the other popular play theme of the Renaissance, that of the Prodigal Son. Quicksilver's story is, however, not a pure recovery of a fallen lad. If one compares his speech of repentance in IV.i. with his next speech, wherein he determines to lead Petronel and himself by his wits, living on chiseled coin and counterfeit silver, one can assume that Quicksilver, the quintessential mercurial figure, changes as the situation demands, and that his conversion at the end is due only to his inability to save his life while in prison. Perhaps he is merely "conning God" with his new-found penitence—and later, after Touchstone rescues him from jail, he will continue his penitence only because there is no other choice for him. But he may revert to his old ways at any time. The audience, therefore, is faced with an ambiguous ending of the Quicksilver tale.

III.ii. has an odd bit with a character named Hamlet and a coach. Almost certainly this is Jonson, Chapman, and Marston having a bit of fun with Shakespeare-Ophelia, when mad, also calls for her coach (IV.5).